the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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