things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
