So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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