Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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