break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
soo... how was my night?
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