from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
