I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
