a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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