I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
