he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
