forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
