so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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