waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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