My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
