I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize