so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
