Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
