Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
