using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
