i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize