At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
