I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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