I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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