so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
