had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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