He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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