So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
