dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
