I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
