He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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