Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and she was petting her beer can
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
