I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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