Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
