I am puke
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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