i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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