just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
