dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
