You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
