yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
