Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
