take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
