Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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