I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
