the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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