I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
