i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize