I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
