I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
