don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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