YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
