you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
