its not stalking. its research.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize