youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
