Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
