then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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