Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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