its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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