remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
