You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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