Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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