she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
